Oh Crumbs...

Oscar REALLY likes biscuits. Despite our efforts to get him to eat little bits of chopped up fruit and vegetables for snacks, he would far rather gorge himself on the little animal shaped biccies that live in our bread bin. These delicacies are made by the organic baby food manufacturers, and contain concentrated grape juice instead of sugar (which I suspect in nutritional terms doesn't make a blind bit of difference, but makes us parents feel less guilty). They're only teeny, just big enough for a toddler's fist funnily enough, yet they seem to have 'spreading ability' which Dulux could only aspire too. When mauled by Oscar for a minute or so, they transform into a sticky vomit-like gloop which gets stuck on everything. My entire life is currently covered in biscuit (which I believe is Parenting Stage 3, following Stage 1 - baby sick and Stage 2 - baby drool). I have found biscuit gloop stuck to my face, in nappies, underneath the car seat, in picture books, on the TV screen and in the lining of my coat. Oscar's face is permanently encrusted with the stuff, and nothing short of an industrial sand blaster will remove it (now there's an idea...). I was pushing Oscar round the high street this week and I could see childless people looking down their noses at 'crusty child in buggy'. I imagined them making mental notes to ensure their future offspring would always be kept immaculately clean. I wish them good luck with the brocolli florets, because quite frankly they'll need it.
Yeah, I know. I should just bin the biscuits and only offer 100% healthy snacks. I just need to decide whether I prefer my life to be covered in carrot or mange tout next.