And for my next trick...

I think someone has slipped Oscar a Haynes Manual on How to Be a Two-Year-Old at some point when I wasn't looking. I suppose it shouldn't really come as much of a surprise to me that Oscar, being a toddler, is going to display pretty standard toddler behaviour. He is developing a repertoire of mind-blowingly frustrating, yet at times hilarious, quirks which require full-on attention, patience and physical strength to deal with, to name but a few:
1) He pushes things up his nose. Peas, raisins, bits of crayon, and if his own nasal cavities are full up, he tries to put things up mine instead. Oscar tells me very enthusiastically that he has a pea up his nose, as if I'll be pleased that he's found some handy extra storage space. Sometimes he tells me he has something up his nose when he hasn't, or that he hasn't when he has, which results in me having to peer up his nostrils with a torch looking for a vague hint of bright green.
2) He has tantrums. I think the fact that I've given birth to a child that is prone to epic tantrums is something that shouldn't have come as much of a shock. When I asked my mum to tell me what age I was when I stopped having tantrums, she said that she's still waiting patiently. Oscar has perfected the art of becoming almost impossible to pick up, get near to, or reason with during one of his little episodes. Carrying a screaming mini-McEnroe under my arm through Tesco's like a roll of carpet is having a rather negative impact on the state of my spine, as my osteopath will verify.
3) He doesn't like getting dressed. Oscar is currently of the opinion that it is perfectly sensible to go the park in November dressed in nothing but a nappy, one sock and a sunhat. Why is it that he can be so keen on one sock and hate the other one so much? Of course when it's time to get him undressed again then he's inseperable from all the clothes that he objected to hours earlier. He loves his new slippers though, because they have lights in them that flash when he stomps his feet. Is this the only way forward? Will I have to buy him singing trousers next?
4) He likes toddler food. Fishfingers, ketchup, and for special treats fishfingers and ketchup stuffed down the back of the sofa, scooped out, licked clean of fluff and stuffed up his nose.
5) He has more energy than a pack of cheetahs who have eaten a whole box of Chupa Chups. More experienced mums have advised me to enroll him in some classes to burn off some of his excess adrenaline. Does anyone offer baby base jumping in West Sussex?
6) He loves making a mess. If Oscar's clothes stay clean and dry for more than an hour we're having a very good day. When we've finished a crafts session on the kitchen table, it looks like Attilla The Hun has popped round for a spot of paintballing, and when his toddler chums come round, they detonate a massive toy bomb in our living room.
7) He says funny things. Oscar's talking really warrants a blog entry of its own, which I will probably get round to writing in about 2012. Needless to say he does an awful lot of it.
8) He has absolutely no grasp of the concept of having a nice quiet sit down.

Yet despite of (and probably partly because of) the above, I feel privileged and delighted to be able to spend each day with such an animated, smart, funny and loving little boy. I may be fit to drop by the end of each day, but I'm so very very lucky to be able to join in all the fun and games.