Dreaming of More Sleep

I must admit that five months into this parenting lark I imagined that I would be getting the odd night of unbroken sleep. So far this hasn't happened once (I haven't slept through the night since the start of my third trimester last September), and I'm beginning to fantasize about drifting off into an eight-hour slumber in a quiet, childless bedroom containing a large bed and fluffy pillows. Oscar is still having one long feed in the middle of the night, which is probably no bad thing as he's only just staying on his expected growth curve and almost certainly needs the extra calories. I don't have a problem with sitting up in bed for 45 minutes a night to feed him, but my patience is wearing a little thin regarding the four or five other 'sessions' of coaxing him back to sleep that Neil and I have to do each night. Oscar continues to be so blooming wriggly. He startles himself with is own thrashing about, which wakes him up (and the swaddling trick just doesn't work on a five-month old). If we put him in a baby sleeping bag he kicks around so furiously he makes himself sick. If you tuck him in with a blanket he catapults himself upwards until he's clear of it. Maybe parcel tape and a baby straitjacket is the way forward (before the NSPCC call round, I'd like to point out that was a joke). Heaven help us when he starts to crawl (which isn't that far off by the look of things) - he'll be off like a robber's dog if I so much as blink. Maybe a baby tracking device should be on my shopping list alongside high chairs and plug socket covers (and straitjackets).
Sitting up in bed in semi-darkness feeding my son at night makes my brain wander all over the place. I've started fretting about how I'll feel when Oscar becomes an astronaut (will I pack him sandwiches for his journey to Mars?), and I've been drawing up a list of modern day equivalents to nursery rhymes (Humpty Dumpty is suing The King's men for inadequate execution of first aid following an incident with a wall, Little Miss Muffet suspects her extreme phobia of arachnids is due to panic attacks brought on by lactose intolerance, etc). I also mentally draft ridiculous blog entries.